Coachees make it successful … or not!

In reflecting on the successful coaching assignments I’ve had over the years, I’ve noticed that there’s a breakthrough moment that occurs during the relationship—typically at the time when I review findings from the 360 interviews and behavioral assessments and work with the coachee to relate them to specific events or incidents. It’s a moment marked by a growing self-awareness and a change in mindset on the part of the coachee toward me and the overall process. Self-awareness is critical since, as Dr. Daniel Goleman points out, this is the “cornerstone of leadership” and progress flows from this point.

What are the self-realizations by the coachee that I’ve found lead to success? Here are my TOP TEN:

1. I want this coaching assignment to be successful. I see it as a unique opportunity in my professional development, and for my growth and continued success.
2. I am willing to recognize key areas for improvement or refinement.
3. I am committed to change my leadership/management style and my behaviors as a result of this opportunity.
4. I need to be aware of the impact of my moods, actions, words and behaviors on others (I need to be self-aware, emotionally intelligent!).
5. I will identify those experiences or situations that resulted in unfavorable outcomes and share them objectively with my coach. I will also discuss awkward or challenging situations in which I’m currently involved to ensure I’m best prepared to manage these effectively.
6. I will report back to my coach on what is working and what isn’t so we can determine the actions and behaviors required to do it differently and more effectively.
7. I will be open with my direct reports that I am working with an executive coach and will share the key things I’m working on. I’ll also ask them to let me know when I’m not getting it right and give clear indicators that it’s safe to do so through my responses.
8. My manager needs to be part of the process and to reinforce the lessons learned. This should continue after the assignment has ended.
9. After the assignment, my coach needs to check in from time to time and ask the tough questions to keep me on track.
10. Bottom line, I’m going to change!

Based on your own experiences, whether as a coach, coachee or having engaged coaches for direct reports or others, I’d like to know what you think about my TOP TEN list.